Monday, January 20, 2014

My best 7

Excerpts from my understanding of my life. If it sounds ridiculous, you are free to discuss and a lot more free to reject the ideas below!


Though it sounds, even to me, as if these are original thoughts of mine, I cannot deny the fact that these bits and pieces were actually the inferences and improvisation over the preaching of somebody else - say Lord Krishna or ThiruValluvar or Sathguru or my Father, with resepect to actual effects of incidents in my life.

Lesson 1


When you feel happy or sorrow and when you share with your loved ones, it infects them. It makes them join your mood - be it joyful or sorrowful. But, when it is shared, the intensity of the feeling splits into 3 parts - 1 part to the with you, one part with your friend and the other to the environment. It doesn't mean, one should not share. But, it means we can always share with a very less most trusted circle, who we know will always be there for us.

Lesson 2


It is very probable that everyone of us get stressed, when we are introduced into a new environment. Because, the picture frame which we have about the world we live in, is changed substantially when the environment changes. So, it takes some time for us to accommodate the fact that something has changed. But, this accomodation gets easier when we try to remain with the flow, without losing our values, rather than inteding to change it as we desire. One who knows and learns to handle the change in situation, is relieved of the stress, which is primarily the fear of comfortable living.

Lesson 3


Stress makes us get annoyed with the environment and with the people who we know, will never leave us alone - in other words, those who we take for granted. I say this because, one doesn't tend to show the stress to people who are new. That's a sign of trust that we have on the relationship, and love starts fading at this point. We tend to go far that we fail to see the pains that we cause to the beloved and much more concerned about the pain we are in. 

Too much of trust is as deceiving and dangerous as having nothing at all. 

The problem gets worse when the person opposite to to us, takes us for granted and responds back in a similar fashion. It multiplies between the entities, to a point which breaks down one of the two.

Lesson 4


The only way to assess the limits is to put the ourselves on other's shoes - that happens by itself, when you have a stronger love with that person.

Not my pic!

Just like the annoyance, love is also something that gets multiplied between two people. The more the sincere love you show for other, the more the other responds to it. Of course, this will not happen when the LOVE IS FILLED WITH AN EXPECTATION FROM THE OTHER... When somebody loves the other, expecting something from them, it actually means THEY LOVE THEMSELVES MORE THAN THE OTHER


Lesson 5


During my days in College until those days in Saudi Arabia, I used to feel like the whole life threw some sh** on my face. Something was terribly not my kind; neither that i needed. Something that was not meant for me. 

Everything around me seemed to force me into something that I am not. I hated the word "Change" 

I ardently hoped for the life to remain the way I was comfortable with. 

I used to suffer with inability to comprehend what was happening around. I showed all my frustrations from things around me, on everybody who I knew, that I loved from the bottom of my heart. [Ref. lesson 1 to 4 for the causes]

Then, I got this book - "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I read this book only to kill my time, then - as part of my attempts to vent out the frustrations. The first thing I noticed from the book was to 

thank the bed on which I slept the last night and then continue thanking everything I use.

It was so stupid when I read. But, I just tried it with a blind belief. I thanked the Bed, the pillow, the bed sheet, then the tooth brush and almost everything. That is when I started to feel that it was me who threw sh** on my face. 

I understood that I have lived a very stupid life, until then. All those things were around me, had helped me remain comfortable. I was taking them for granted and never cared about them, in return.

No matter how big or small an object is, it has its own significance in the big picture. It just needs to be regarded. Once we do that, we start getting close to realization of the ultimate truth.

Lesson 6


Karma is a very popular term and the most less understood. For now, I can suggest only one thing.

Don't act based on your desires. Just listen to what is right for that situation. Do your duty. And, the rest falls in place. 

When you start doing this, at some point, you will realize what KARMA is all about.

Lesson 7


Only thing, that would be possible perpetually is to "love your neighbor".

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind!

Well known as the name of a movie, at least for those who were with me during my final year of BTech at CECRI. I watched this movie several times; was not much impressed though I liked the storyline.

Out of the blue sky, I was like, 'What has happened to me...?!'

Certainly, Nothing...! I'm perfectly okie!!

But then, something kept me perturbed. I decided to give it some time. I was trying to understand the problem - seemed something like I didn't have any problem to worry, despite a bulk! It was a kind of selfishness, that was eating me up. Somewhere in the nook, I could feel I was selfish, but on the whole, I didn't want to wake up to it and just tried to keep on with my chores.

What do I do?

  • I earn something to live.
  • I enjoy my time watching movie (- merely searching our experiences in someone else's dream)
  • I do my work with whole of my heart; don't lose a minute in despair
  • I feel happy taking a sip or bath in alcohol, at the weekends
  • I feel contented in finding a way out to share my father's yoke

But then, I have a huge list that I don't do!

  • I forget to be, what I wanted to be (By the way, what I wanted to be is a separate part of this session!)
  • I prefer being deaf to my senses that alarmed my weight. I never took it serious. I don't want to be gorgeous but then, I know I'm not comfortable this way
  • At the end of the day, I remember that I forget my friend's birthday
  • I know I don't love termites, but still I forget to keep my books away from it. Have put a number of books on the rack - procrastinated for more than an year now!
  • Above all this, I am deprived of access to the society - rather a self-implied-deprivation ensuring myself being fresh the next day - I almost lost the idea of social living!
What I wanted to be?

Fact is 'I don't know!' - rather, i had too many. 

Why was I like that? - Baaaaaaammmm... Wrong Question!

There was only one problem that I could see - I liked everything when I didn't like anything. I was becoming adaptive to anything. A series of failures (of course, not really, but as I saw it) made me take anything, as it comes. I have lost my own idea of being myself.

Then, what is the problem...? There is exactly not any problem and that was the problem.


Lets end the show! It is a conflict between the reality and surrealism.

Reality is my awareness to take care of myself and those who rely on me. Reality owed me a gift - the fear of the choice I make.

Surrealism lies with the ways I find to make myself believe that I still have the freedom of choice. It is the part that I enact to fight my guilt.

I understood that Guilt is more dear than the surrealistic approach to kill the Guilt!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What have I scored? - 4 (final)

As I have told, I'm trying to finish off my venture with this (hopefully) delight final note. My target was focused on the drawbacks of our Educational system. And, now, I understood that we are far better than the (d)elite dwellers on earth, most of whom enjoy travel and are capable of thoroughly inspecting the maps. As in the past, we are in a way familiar with by-heart-ing (memorize) and recitation, if not for understanding, atleast for the sake of the pressure from the Gurus! Many might not have understood why it is required to remember things by heart.

We (our forefathers) knew long back that the brain needs to be trained to remember things which is capable of giving you hand, when you see things in real! Yes, we Indians have got the best conservative plans. We can operate school with out labs! We have!! One side of the coin - a very pitiable situation for schools in this modern times. The other side of the coin - we entrust the capabilities of imagination in children and try to cultivate them from within. Students from the schools without labs are doing very much better when they enter into highly sophisticated labs.

I presume that every one would have had this feeling - "Huh... I don't like this subject because I don't like that teacher!" Isn' it? It is because, either of the two reasons - you don't understand what he teaches or you don't like the way when he speaks Latin to you.

In the past, we had this scheme of "Gurukulla" education system. We had great sincerity and dedication to our teachers. We learnt discipline and the idea behind it, being in it. Now, we dint feel like respecting our teachers (may be they didn't give us the space for respecting them, but still we should have). That is exactly where we lack.

These things are left hidden in our pretext of respecting education as Sarashwati or any god! But, we have given up the intention in paying interest to what we do and how we do, "by heart"!

By heart - the phrase is widely used and very far mistakenly understood. It doesn't mean you blindly close your eyes and take things in your brain. But, it is actually understanding things,

taking it to the heart,
feeling it at heart,
doing things from heart.

Once you do something from heart, with a complete realization of the capability and scope - you never forget that! That is the end result of your dedication and not just recitation.

Such kind of a memory, help us in lot ways. You keep walking on the road. You see the leaves falling off from a tree. You realize the effect of the mass of the invisible gas which provides the viscosity causing the resistance to the fall, the inability of gravity to accelerate a substance with less mass in a linear profile of fall, the transformation of the law of linear acceleration to a imaginary polynomial function which can describe the trajectory followed by that little leaf -
the path of least-resistance.

Why to complicate life this hard? It may sound so, until you don't understand what has been described. It is like the difference between believing in god and seeing god! As long as you enjoy the marvel ventures of science you believe science is wonderful. When you realize how it happens, you see what science is capable of.

Without such a thought, it wouldn't have been possible for us to design an aircraft or a safety pin. The acumen is not gained by teaching. It is something you gain by your own dedication and interest to what it is like when you are living!

The basic question of "What the heck does 'life' mean?" and "what the hell am I doing in middle of this desert, wasting my life!" :P

I had that time to think. I had that time to pin-point the slippery part of our system.

The inability of the teacher - how does this come! A number of reasons are there:

1. We humans expect our teachers to be paid low and don't expect the institutions to demand more.

2. When we start owning a school, we try to loot people showing the efficacy and quality of the education provided, still not paying much to our employees - the teachers.

3. We like being fooled by the marks that we score in the terminal examinations which tests your ability to recorded things and not the things by heart.

4. Once we gain acumen and the idea of how things should be, we seek for a better position instead of being a teacher, since we are not paid justified.

5. With this materialistic world, we don't find space for living unless we are either an Engineer, a Doctor, a Entrepreneur, if not at least a Politician.

6. We are awestruck with the media that fantasizes and changes the focus of most of our desires and gets hold of our wishes.

7. We don't find time to rejoice and realize between the IPL and the FIFA!

8. We are very much interested in making money out of every s**t on earth.

9. We are very much motivated to take care of ourselves, even at the expense of others!

The fault with every individual - At the least try to remember what you have memorized for the examination and relate it with your life whenever and wherever possible.

Certainly, it is not fair if I expect anyone - who is not much concerned about education, to read through this. But, you - my friends can realize what else would be wrong and help the way out, in your own ways!

Cheers to all...!

-The End-

Note: I'm not a theist or a atheist. I am an agnostic, waiting for the presence of god and in search of the "GOD"!

Next on blog:

Revolutions of the century - between the rights and the riots!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What have I scored? - 3

It is almost six months, since I last wrote this blog. Sounds like I'm being too lazy or light hearted about this. But, the fact is this - I have lost track of what I was writing about...!

I was trying to tell the present scenario as how our education system goes. Then, there came a comment. It said something like, "It is possible for everyone to comment on our education system and dream something out of the vast expanse of this universe. But, it lies in your solution to the problem. How you solve it!?" I was dumbstruck. Of course, he has said that I was one other Jack who just cries the problem instead of the solution. I didnot want to be an opposition party leader - pointing out things and just trusting my spirits to change things when I would get to the hot seat; also, knew that I was insufficient (as far as now) to be the governing leader too! Atleast I'm happy that I'm not made an advertisement to Nobel Prize... :D

I decided. 'I will start writing the blog only when i find the solution!'

Well... What does this mean, when I have started writing this blog. Have I found a solution? Yes... Some sort of...! :D

It took almost 175 days to conclude on what to write and how to complete. Though the fact about engineering described in previous blogs are true, it is inevitable that we are doing great! Years before, my father had once told me that he had read somewhere that Indian Education System was far better than many other parts of the world. Now, I do understand that he was right!

The education system has its play but not as much to neglect the focus and interests of the kid. Wait a minute... Did I ever say that the structure is wrong? To be specific, the way we are motivated and trained to look at our books... That's were I had those hard feelings! Owing to some viscious mind set that we have developed over the years, our focus on education seems to have struck with the materialistic side. Like we do some Pooja to God with more inclination to procedure than to God Himself...!
What is there in doing Pooja without a focus to God? So feasible, a question. But, on the other hand, it really has some effect. We do something always better of an engineer than many others in this world.

A bad blog, but will catch you afresh, on the continuation - part 4. Trust me, this will be the final.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What have I scored? - 2

I strongly feel that we have been diverted from the very aspect of education. Marks are supposed to rate our performance against others of the same set, believing it to scale the intellect gained. But, where has it gone? Is that motive still alive? I am afraid for it is not! I remember one of my guides, Dr. S. Madhu, who used to say "Thousands get an engineering degree when ten engineers are really born!"

We are no more in search of knowledge or acumen, rather than the surface level transformations to score! Yes... It is just a superficial action to memorize something, recite it and pour it on to a paper. The soul idea of learning that is lost! I even doubt myself if I'm against this attitude just because I couldn't do it!? But, I am sure that this has to be opposed. And, focused back to where it has to be. It is the evolution of the biological system that has made the current system out-moded! Man has found ways to cheat the scale! I don't mean the toppers are not deserved of that. Definitely not. But, the game is no more fair!

The basic rule of competition should be a common stand and equal provision of resources. Our pride in diversity is doubtful when we realize that our villages are far from towns, and towns are far from cities. It is no wrong. The funniest part is the effort by the state government to remove TNPCEE, providing equal space for pupils from villages, so that every one can become nothing but a 'TAPE RECORDER'! The State government has weak (rather, no!) policies to strengthen the work output of teachers in government schools (may be because they were afraid of losing votes, one of the main factors that helped them against JJ!). Nevertheless, a few teachers in villages and government schools have started working harder but have failed to produce students.

By virtue, the colleges do not go good for 'Tape recorders' initially. Slowly, tape recorders become adaptive in recording the whole of engineering!

And now, I have found why my guides words were true. When they come out of an engineering college, they are not ready for the real scenario. They have harnessed their view to the books and specifically the text, not the idea!

To be continued...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

What have I scored?

For quite sometime, I had this eating up my thoughts. Something was mistaken. Something was misinterpreted. Something lost the track of what it was supposed to be! It is not weird if it reminds you of something else other than what I am going to write about, as everything becomes that 'something' which is prone to misinterpretation by virtue of the limits of intellect of the respondent, most of the time. ;)

It is quite normal for a father - who has dreamt so much about winning life and has eventually failed in doing so, to say his son, "You should top your class dear. It is the humble dream of your father!"

I remember the words from my mother who always had a sad opinion about most of my relatives. She felt like I was the only choice for her to depend on, in regaining the lost honor of my ancestors - technically it was 99% my father! Sorry, if that sounds ridiculous when I say, 'He feels himself to have failed in making it!'

She would say, "Vikash, உங்க அப்பா வாழ்க்கை- தொத்து போனத நீ தான் சரி செய்ய முடியும். நம்ம எல்லாம் middle class people. நமக்கு படிப்பு தான் வாழ்க்கை. படிச்சா தான் நல்ல நிலைமைக்கு வர முடியும்...!"

And all that she can tell, to make me "Yes Raghu... You have to do it!" But, Gosh... How long would it stand? At certain point of time, I realized that I had my own deficiency (which I would really never accept, except for writing this article) in remembering what I have learned. I had a poor memory structure. My vision was my source of learning. If I couldn't visualize it, then I will soon forget that! I mean very soon... Definitely before putting that on my answer sheets, at least! ;)

I had developed some sort of guilt even, when I feared that I am not going to make it, with my schooling at Ramanathapuram. Anyone who knows about Abdul Kalam would say, "He could make it from here. Then, why can't you?" I have only one thing in return. "May be, APJ should have tried it now!"

When I was a kid in LKG, I would watch my sister reciting multiplication tables during the recital hour in her class. I fascinated the day, when I would get the chance to do that. I got it. Trust me, it was the worst dream ever. I cried when I got the chance, as I couldn't withstand the pain in my knuckles which had become red, on hitting at it every time I made a mistake. It was the cruel babysitter (Aaayama!) who delivered all her wrath on her drunkard husband on my knuckles taking chances of my memory, then.

To be continued...

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Personality Profile

There is something interesting that I wanted to post. I guess you people might be interested in this.

I am not sure if you all are in facebook. But, I got this application from there.

Guess, this link might be useful to take your test. Try it, atleast that it is interesting!

Personality Profile
- click over the text to be redirected to the webpage.